In the two decades since the passing of their son, Paul and Lori Wessel have found healing and hope through community remembrance, particularly the annual Shinnyo Lantern Floating Hawai‘i ceremony. They continue to share their journey of grief and resilience to support others navigating loss. (Courtesy photo)

Nov 3, 2025

Love and shared emotions mark the annual healing event at Ala Moana.

By Paul Wessel, Lori Wessel, May 21, 2025.
(Originally published on Civil Beat)

Once again, as that difficult time of the year for us approaches, we find ourselves looking back on the years since we lost our son, SPC Kevin Wessel, to the war in Iraq. Last month marked 20 years since he was taken from us.

The early years were difficult to navigate, even with the support of amazing family and friends. Fortunately, those challenging years were also filled with new discoveries and positive experiences.

One of those discoveries was the annual Shinnyo Lantern Floating Hawaiʻi ceremony. It’s an annual event that occurs on Memorial Day that we look forward to every year, despite the inherent sadness of the occasion the day holds for us.

For us, the overwhelming feeling of love and sense of shared emotions that we experienced as we released our first lanterns were (and continue to be) cathartic and healing.

When we first became affiliated with the lantern floating ceremony, we were still deep in the devastating grief a parent experiences after losing a child. We didn’t think we could ever look at life without the profound sadness and despair, and yes, even anger. But after releasing our first lantern, our healing began and our outlook began to change.

A Special Gift
Our feelings of hope returned along with a restored appreciation for the things that had once brought us joy. It is truly a special gift to be a part of such a huge gathering where the collective spirit is that of aloha, where strangers come together and share hugs with each other.

As people release their lanterns, there are no differences, just a shared understanding of grief that slowly brings a calming sense of peace. Those feelings grew with every lantern floating event we attended. Each name and every message we wrote on our lanterns helped to heal our broken hearts and in time we were able to view the world with renewed purpose.

We began to share what we’d experienced at Lantern Floating with some friends and reached out to many of our son’s military friends, some of whom suffer with the long-term psychological effects of war, hoping to share a part of our healing process and the critical role that this gathering had on us.

Some of them have made the journey to Hawaii themselves, and participated in the annual ceremony to honor and remember their deceased family members, friends, and battle buddies.

Kevin’s 20-year “angelversary” hit us hard this year, but reflecting on those 20 years reminded us of how much aloha continues to exist here. We’d like to express our appreciation to everyone involved with Shinnyo Lantern Floating Hawaiʻi for providing everyone with a safe space to grieve and remember.

As Memorial Day 2025 approaches Monday, we encourage those who have lost a loved one attend this year’s gathering at Ala Moana Beach Park.

For us, after spending the morning up at Punchbowl, we can think of no better way to honor our soldier son than to be on the beach at sunset on Memorial Day, surrounded by others who are remembering their loved ones.